and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
