I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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