I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
