There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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