I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
