My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
