She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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