i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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