come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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