i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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