Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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