Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I CAN MOONWALK!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
