You really coming over, don't trick.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize