peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
