p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
