Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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