Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize