Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
