If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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