I heard we made out
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
