Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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