it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
