lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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