Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
