Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
