he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
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I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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