trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
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Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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