dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's the barista slut.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
