Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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