Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
