If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Someone shattered a urinal.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
