Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
