Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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