Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
