remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
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FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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