No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
