I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
