I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
