Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
