CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
