never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
