the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
