Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
