You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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