just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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