I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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