apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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