i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
