I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
