Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
