guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
