i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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