I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
