he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
