hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
