Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
