1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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