ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
