His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize