I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
