Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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