i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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